I know I am not what you would exactly call “fit,” but this is amazing.  I want to be “fit,” not “skinny.”  I’d rather be toned and trim, than emaciated and lanky.  I’m all for eating well and exercising, but I want to do so to help my health, not so I’m a twig.  I have a loooooong way to go, but I want to start making an effort for myself and my health.

I’ve realized that being skinnier will not improve myself esteem.  If I don’t love myself now, I won’t love my self weighting 20 lbs lighter.

“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.”

I see this everywhere.  It’s all over my tumblr dash.  I just got on pintrest and I saw it three different times on the main page.

NO!  I hate this saying more than I could explain.  

I’ve finally began to accept that my size is not who I am.  My health is more important then staving myself or depriving myself of the things that I enjoy.  If I want cupcake or some potato chips, I am going to eat them and love every second of it.  I love food.  And, as long as my weight is healthy, that is all that matters.  

Do I have a stomach that sticks out?  Yes.  Do my arms jiggle?  Yep.  Do I feel awkward in a bathing suit?  Of course.  But I can’t let those feelings rule my day.  I am so much more than my appearance.   I refuse to look at myself as a clothing size.  I am not a number.

I’ve been overweight and underweight.  I didn’t reach 100 lbs until I was in 11th grade and people made comments all the time.  ”You need to eat more.”  ”I wish I was a twig like you.”  I never meant to be so small.  I ate anything and everything.  I just had a fast metabolism and I was a cheerleader, took pointe, and had marching band multiple times a week.  Then my health went south and I went on a lot of medication.  I gained over 30 lbs my freshman year of college.  My first roommate always said that I was gaining the Freshman 50, not the Freshman 15.  From then on, my just kept gaining and gaining, until I reached 150 lbs in the fall of 2010.  I hated being that size.

But now, I refuse to let my life revolve around weight.

Having thighs that do not touch does not make you beautiful.  Wearing size 3X does not make you beautiful.  Beauty comes from in you.

When I looked up “nothing tastes as good a skinny feels” was as appealed by the image results on Google.  Obviously there were tons of photos of Kate Moss, who the saying is attributed to.  Most images were from thinspo sites or articles bashing thinspo.  But what I didn’t expect, was to see photos of kids and babies wearing shirts and onesies with the saying sprawled across their chests.

Why would anyone have a child believe that it’s ok to stave your body?  Who would buy their kid one of these shirts?  It’s incredibly sad.  Kids should be learning that starving is the wrong way to lose weight.  They would be learning about healthy foods.  They should be learning that exercise is important.  Someone should teach them that everyone is equal, no matter their size.  And, they should love and respect their own body no matter what.     

People that love you for how you look or judge you for not fitting their standard for beauty are not worth it.  They shouldn’t matter.  Of course it’s horrible to hear someone comment negatively on your appearance, but you have to remember that you’re not the one with the problem.  They are.  You’re fine the way you are.  Their attitude is wrong, not your weight.

I wish that everyone would take a minute to think of all of the things that they love about their selves that has nothing to do with their outsides.  Think about what makes you unique.  Those characteristics are what makes you beautiful.  As along as you are confident in yourself and you respect and love others, you are beautiful.

Everyone is beautiful.  I sincerely wish that people could see that.

I love and respect myself too much to starve my body.